5/25/2004 03:19:00 PM|W|P|Mike|W|P|
Well, things really have been interesting this weekend. That's why there haven't been as many posts...'cause we've been busy having fun.
(CBC Radio): And call us in if you have some interesting, but preferably horrible, stories of camping experiences and you could win tickets to see Canada's own Ron James live, in person, at the Banff Centre!
Mike: I should tell my exploding tree story. (For those of you who are wondering, the story involves a rotten tree stump, a Coleman lantern, fuel for said lantern, and a very stupid little boy. G-mail me for details.)
Later that morning, while I'm at work:
Mike: Shell Canada, Mike speaking.
Rose: Hey dood, it's me, they just announced your winning story on the radio! We're going to Banff tonight!
After that, it was just a matter of getting cleaned up after work, getting out of Calgary and into Banff before 8 PM, and then finding this place. Well, after about 15 minutes of walking around in the freezing rain, we find the theatre, and are treated to some very funny comedy, thanks to the CBC and Ron James. But, just before we went in, my cell phone rang.
Bob: Heya Mikey, you and Rosie still helpin' us move our place tomorrow afternoon?
Mike:...Yah man, 'course. For sure. See you at 9?
Bob: Sounds great man, show up whenever!
So the next day, we helped Bob and San move their home. This was actually kinda fun. I got to ride in the back of a huge cargo van, bent over various household goods like TV shelves and rowing machines. Then we had pizza and beer. Which was a good thing too, since we were hitting Aussie Rules later that evening.
Now, Aussie Rules is what the whole hip world would be doing if they were at Aussie Rules. It's the type of place where they don't only tolerate you dancing on your chair, they actually encourage you to do it. There are two pianos set up, a couple of guys come out and start playing requests. No crappy songs, but good old tunes, like Piano man by Billy Joel, and The Gambler by Kenny Rogers. By the end of the night we were exhausted, voiceless, and Eva was more drunk than Robert Downy Jr. at an NA meeting. It was fun. Lots of beer induced, Boobie-rific, music filled fun the likes not even Nero could have imagined in his twisted little fiddle-playing mind. Don't ask were that came from, I'm not entirely sure myself.
Anyhoo, Sunday was a day of rest. A day of waking up at noon, eating bad food that tastes great, and of general tomfoolery in the apartment. And grocery shopping. There was one interesting thing that happened Sunday morning.
I'm of the belief that McDonald's breakfasts are the best thing in the world after a long night of drinking and dancing. So when I went to get my #8 breakfast meal, the nice voice on the intercom asked "Is there anything else I can get you?" To which I responded "Come to think of it, a large coke please." And then, no word of a lie, I hear this come out of that speaker: "I thought so!" in the most, and I don't want to offend with this, homosexual voice I have ever heard. I was in stitches all morning over that.
Monday, being Victoria Day, was another day that I could sleep in, so I took full advantage of it. Then we went and saw some turtles of the botanical gardens, and in the evening Bob and San came over for veggie lasagna and garlic bread, then an episode of Enterprise.
All in all, it was pretty much one of the most amusing weekends I've had in a long time, a large part of it was due to the company that helped us do it. You know who you are!
CYODFS |W|P|108552354402850919|W|P|Weekenderific Happenings|W|P|5/20/2004 03:53:00 PM|W|P|Mike|W|P|
Today has definitely been one of those days. In case anyone missed it, there was a system failure yesterday in our wonderfully glorious sales system. This meant that we could not do our jobs. We sat around talking, which was great, until I got home and had a drink. Then it hit me, as I was downloading the latest Enterprise episode at blazingly fast speed, that we would have to catch up today.
Now, this doesn't sound like much. And most people will probably work a lot harder in a day than I do in a week, because let's face it, I'm a lube jockey. I sit on my butt and enter the same orders in the system all day. It's not the most challenging job, but there are parts of it that are fun, like talking to the chief engineer of a Portuguese freighter and trying to explain to him why we can't take back expired product from another company (it was Esso) that came from another country and expired a year ago. Things like that are fun. But on the whole, the job is talking to Dan from Flin Flon, Manitoba, asking him how it's going, talking about the weather, and selling him a few thousand kilos of oil. So, all in all, boring.
Except when things go wrong. When they go wrong, things grind to a stop like an engine without oil. Nice example innit? Anyway, I came in an hour early today and everything has just been horribly hectic ever since. I don't think that I stopped until lunch at 1.30 PM. Needless to say that this long day, coupled with the Flames victory last night, has made for a very, very long day. I'm planning on going home, opening a cold one, putting on something nice and moody, like Serpico, and drifting into dreams of the sugar-plum variety.
CYODFS |W|P|108509358437085085|W|P|Faint Feelings and Over-Caffeination|W|P|5/19/2004 05:33:00 PM|W|P|Mike|W|P|The Globe and Mail
Sweet Jesus, it's about time. For the longest time now I've been wondering where I can go that's close to work to get nearly-lethal amounts of caffein. But thanks to SlashDot and The Globe and Mail, now I know.
CYODFS|W|P|108501318049681499|W|P||W|P|5/19/2004 01:47:00 PM|W|P|Mike|W|P|
OK, this is pretty much verbatin what happened about 30 minutes ago between me and the help desk here at Shell:
Mike: Waiting on hold.
15 minutes go by
Voice: Help desk, how can I help you?
Mike: Thank God, I thought you had forgotten about me!
Voice: We haven't, how can I help you?
Mike: How long will it take our sales system to be back up? (It has been down since 9.30)
Voice: We don't know yet, sorry.
Mike: Any idea what the problem is?
Mike loses all hope of a calm afternoon at this point
Oh well, I guess I can't really complain. Traditionally Thursdays are slower. so catching up won't be too difficult. I hope. Maybe I can put in some overtime to get extra work done.
CYODFS |W|P|108499962110361509|W|P|Yeeesh|W|P|5/19/2004 10:50:00 AM|W|P|Mike|W|P|Well, here's where I stand right now. Since our main sales / order
entry system isn't working right now (it's been down for about two
hours) I've decided to give a quick post. Maybe it'll be something
that I can send in to the E.F.F.
I am now a card carrying member of the Electronic Frontier Foundation.
That's a big for me. I've long felt very strongly, as you might have
noticed by my past posts here and on the group blog (Bursting the
Bubble) about the free-speech and privacy issues facing everyday
computer users. The E.F.F. is an organization that is fighting for our
rights online. They are an organization that is trying to raise
awareness of violations of personal privacy by large mega-corps and
the US government. The other day I sent in a 15$ contribution to them,
and as such I can now proudly call myself a member.
Work has been hectic. We've been short-staffed the last few days so by
the end of the day I'm a little exhausted. I hope that I haven't been
to short-tempered with anyone. My stress levels arn't that high, but
that's only because I'm working out at lunch time, which I was
neglecting for a couple of weeks. Even that short a time made getting
back into the groove very difficult. I see it as a matter or
motivation. I just don't feel like going, but as soon as I'm there
it's great fun. It's important to bring reading material; nothing is
worse that reading 2 month old back-issues of "Maclean's" while on the
elliptical or the bike.
Sadly, that is all there is to report regarding my life at present.
I'll post more in a little while.
|W|P|108498905651719134|W|P|Severe Bordome|W|P|5/19/2004 06:07:00 AM|W|P|Mike|W|P|Good things are afoot. First, I find out that I can get a gmail account. Now, this:
Google tests waters with terabyte e-mail limit
There is now the very real possibility that someday I'll be able to back up my entire computer in my e-mail account. Wowzers.
And on other fronts, I've become an official member of the E.F.F.. Yay!
CYODFS|W|P|108497202832588273|W|P||W|P|5/17/2004 09:55:00 AM|W|P|Mike|W|P|Rose says:
So, Mike changed the blog again... hmm... puke green doesn't necessarily excite me, but to each his own! I figured that picture was a call to say something.
I have to admit it, I have an addiction. A Tetris addiction. That game is the devil! And I'm not even very good at it! I wonder if there's a support group out there.
I'm also scared. In a recent post, as you can see, Mike refers to us as Calgarians. Gak! When did that happen? It ruins my whole plan to have as little as possible in common with Ralph Klein. Man, what a doofus. I won't even get into it.
Work's going ok, but as a result of my new position, I now get to deal with every irate asshole in the south west of the city (I know some of you sympathize). Seriously, though... how upset and abusive can one person get over a $1.50 debt? Just stop by the library sometime and see firsthand.
I got some really sad news this week. A friend of mine who I used to work with, a really talented journalist named Gordon Legge's body was found after he'd been missing in Banff since February. I know everybody says so about the recently departed, but he really was the nicest man I've ever met. He was also deeply spiritual, and his death is inspiring me to reexamine my own spirituality, which has been sadly neglected.
Anyhoo, that's all the news that's fit to write,
Rose|W|P|108481379620070577|W|P||W|P|5/18/2004 01:32:00 PM|W|P|Dru|W|P|If I may make a suggestion: I've recently had something of a spiritual reawakening myself. Interestingly enough, it was the training I've taken in Kung Fu recently which brought it about. Kung Fu, as it turns out, is a rather intensely spiritual martial art, and and it certainly helped me get back in touch with my own spirituality, something I'd neglected for nearly twenty-five years.
Hugs,5/16/2004 10:48:00 AM|W|P|Mike|W|P|
And this is Mike with the love of his life (the most incredible, strong, and smart woman in the entire world) Rose. People ask us all the time if they can use our obviously perfect genes for cloning experiments. More mountains in the backgroud, from Canmore, Ab. |W|P|108472970132197893|W|P||W|P|5/16/2004 10:39:00 AM|W|P|Mike|W|P|
And I figured that it would be cool to include my lineage on here as well. These are my wonderful parents. On the right, my Mom, Peggy. To her (and again, our) left is my Dad, Rick. Behind them is the Three Sisters' mountain range, as seen from the Grizzly Paw Pub in Canmore, Ab. |W|P|108472916280714188|W|P||W|P|5/16/2004 10:37:00 AM|W|P|Mike|W|P|
In case some of you are wondering, these two nefarious creatures are my relative who live in Calgary. On the right is Bob, my Uncle, and to his (and our) left is his wife, my Aunt, Sandra. Try to ignore the beer...it seems to follow them around wherver they go. |W|P|108472907316730143|W|P||W|P|5/14/2004 02:38:00 PM|W|P|Mike|W|P|Guess what I'm doing right now? Really wishing that I wasn't at work
and really wondering where all my money went. I got paid Wednesday,
and already my bank account is empty. In fact, it's over-drawn 55$.
But in all reality, I'm listening to "115. 205 - Spritney Bears - What
A Feeling (Club Mix).mp3 [5:50]" .Isn't that the most awesome DJ name
ever? I think so. And the remix...it's classic....dance themes to
Flashdance! Why do I need an iPod? So I can listen to songs like this
all the time!
I was at London Drugs last night and they had a Mac G5 on display. It
was drool-village right there man...all titanium case, grilled on the
front, and dual 2.0 GHz's inside, all running Mac OS X.3 (10.3, a.k.a.
Panther). By all account, the Velociraptor of desktops. It was as
schweit as could be. Then the sales person came by. By all things
holy, this was the most out of place computer salesperson I have ever
seen, and here's why:
1. They had a tan.
2. They had bathed in the last 24 hours. Probably more than once,
judging from the smell of shampoo.
(Now I'm listening to "116. 206 - DJ Howard - Theme From Sjølyst
(Voodoo Beats Remix).mp3 [6:18]"
3. They were articulate, respectful to my near-total ignorance of all
things Mac, and confidant (seeming) about their knowledge of said Mac.
4. "They" was a chick.
5. She was kinda cute.
All of this really, really surprised me. In fact, I had to catch
myself from ordering one just because I was caught unprepared for
having to deal with a she-Geek.
(Currently spinning "117. 207 - Systems F feat. Armin Van Burren -
But then I began to wonder why I was so confused about a girl computer
sales person, and the sad truth is that I couldn't think of a single
reason. I'm somewhat ashamed at myself.
Introspection is good, isn't it?
|W|P|108457068016407727|W|P|Fun Times At The Office|W|P|5/13/2004 10:49:00 AM|W|P|Mike|W|P|
And all the King's men can't put Paul Martin together again.
The Liberals have used their majority government to stop all hearing on the sponsorship scandal, only a few days after the two biggest frauds in Canadian history have been arrested by the RCMP.
How obvious is it that Martin just wants this to go away, thinking that we will forget all about the scandal? It's also very, very sad. Martin was given control of one of the greatest countries on Earth, and he is desperate to hold on to the power. Historically, those who most desire to rule should never be permitted to do so. In fact, we should find the person who least wants the Prime Ministerial power and give to them. Politicians should make politics. But we need a true leader to lead.
What we need is another Trudeau. Harper's a dweeb and McKay is a back-stabber. I'm not following either of them. What are we left with? I'm not really sure, but it's pretty pathetic looking.
CYODFS |W|P|108447055910510735|W|P|All the Kings Horses...|W|P|5/12/2004 03:57:00 PM|W|P|Mike|W|P|There is a great initiative going on with the folks at The Command Post . They are attempting to raise $10,000 USD for the education of a family that is most composed of adopted children. It began as part of a wake up call that there is too much violence, hatred, anger and fear in our world and not enough love, compassion, generosity and caring for our fellow human beings.
I strongly urge everyone to go there and donate money. 10,000 USD in 3 days is their goal, and I don't think that a college fund for children who wouldn't otherwise have the opportunity to attend University can be viewed, by anyone, as a waste of money.
Please, donate what you can.
Here is the original link. The donation forum is found at the bottom. Read the story, as well.
CYODFS|W|P|108440312738539904|W|P||W|P|5/11/2004 06:38:00 PM|W|P|Mike|W|P|This is getting seriously out of hand. For those of you who do not
know Calgary, we Calgarians have an exprssion: If you don't like the
weather, wait 5 minutes. Well, I've been waiting. I've waited five
minutes. I've waited ten minutes. Technically, I've waited 3,600
minutes. And it's still snowing.
Snow snow snow...is that all it does around here? Now, I'm very well
aware of the stigma against using the weather as the subject of a
conversation, and especially against the usage of the weather to help
me post, but this is getting out of hand.
Nothing can really convince me that it won't snow anymore...especially
not after seeing the pictures from last year, when it snowed something
like 25-30 cms overnight Sunday. Argh.
But something funny did just happen to me just this very second. I ran
to the local corner store for some much-needed dinner accessories:
hot-dog buns, hot-dog wieners, and relish. Now, we're really well
known at this particular store, and at this time, there is the most
charming lady working there. When she sees what I want to buy, and
looks up at me. Here's how the conversation went:
Her: Lemme guess: you want hot-dogs for dinner, but alls you got is
the ketchup and mustard, right?
Mike: Yes, ma'am.
Her: I know you really well, don't I?
Mike: Yes, ma'am
Now, I realize that this doesn't sound as funny as it did then, but
that's probably because that she has the slightest Thai accent that
just doesn't come across in text.
Anyway, I smell hot-dog boiling, so I'll sing off here.
|W|P|108432592228058989|W|P|Something has to give.|W|P|5/11/2004 03:58:00 PM|W|P|Mike|W|P|Originally posted Feb. 26, 2004, this is the first submission I'm using:
"So, I've been told that since this story is so funny I need to include it on the blog.
There is a store in Calgary called Ribtors. It sells pretty much everything you could possibly need that's not food. Camping supplies, hardware, everything. Sadly, it's close to the dis-reputable end of town, where the "Ladies of the Night" gather. That's right folks, this one deals with prostitutes.
So I'm driving around like a chicken with no head, trying to find this store. I drive across an intersection and I see it off to my left. I look ahead and find myself in a cul-de-sac, with a working-girl coming my way. I motion to her what I think is easily interpreted as "No offence to you or your pimp, but I am not currently soliciting the use of a sex-trade worker. But thank you for you interest and all the best to you."
Now, I can only assume that she interpreted this as "Go away you pathetic specimen of humanity, I am far superior than you are and I pity you." Which is exactly what I did *not* want to convey, because I don't like offending anyone, and especially not prostitutes. I say this because after my word-less statement of "Thank you very much but no thank you" she flipped me off. With both hands, and a very visible F-U-C-K Y-O-U. For those of you know follow the WWE, think of Stone Cold Steve Austin giving someone the double kick-stands before beating the snot out of them. And then she started coming towards my new, shiny, very nice car. The same car that I very much did not want damaged.
So I slammed my foot in the gas and peeled away like a Nascar racer on the inbound 273rd lap. Right across the street, into a parking lot. Where I stayed for almost 15 minutes, as the prostitute paced around. I can only assume that I had crossed some kind of territorial line, because she didn't come after me. Thankfully. Her nails could have ripped the paint right off the car, I'm sure.
So this is my story. I hope you have enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed telling it, and let me close off by saying that whatever you do, please, don't make hand signals to hookers. It's just not worth it."
|W|P|108431634603185446|W|P||W|P|5/11/2004 03:39:00 PM|W|P|Mike|W|P|
It looks like the EFF (Electronic Frontier Foundation - http://www.eff.org) is looking for a writing intern. How much do I want to do this? Very much. What do I have to submit as proof of my amazing writing skills? Nothing. Well, except maybe some humorous stories from here. Like maybe the one about the hooker. Yeah, that'll do. But I need at least three to four proofs of writing skill and ability in order to apply. But I am somewhat biased, and since we're being frank here, I'm not exactly my own greatest judge. But I'm convinced that there must be at least three posts that are worthy of submission somewhere on my blog.
So it's up to you. Select from the archives you 3 favorite posts, and I will use them, in conjunction with the Hooker Epic, as submission material to apply for the Internship at the EFF.
I leave my future, in your hands.
CYODFS. |W|P|108431518291591709|W|P|EFF Wants Mike|W|P|5/10/2004 03:28:00 PM|W|P|Mike|W|P|Wherever "There" is, and for whatever reason companies and people want
to get to it, Google seems to have made great leaps, bounds, strides,
and steps to make sure that Google gets "There" fast.
And it's working. This is another test of modblogging. And with all
the new template changes available, get ready for something new baby.
Something very, very new. And exciting...more exciting than a barrel full of coccain-accided, laser-weilding, hooker-slappin' cyber-monkeys from beyond the grave in pirate shirts.
And that's a whole lotta fun.
|W|P|108422813797972438|W|P|Google is Getting "There"|W|P|5/10/2004 03:11:00 PM|W|P|Mike|W|P|
Know what rocks? Modblogging.
CYODFS |W|P|10842270732190928|W|P|This is a test.|W|P|5/07/2004 09:25:00 PM|W|P|Mike|W|P|I'm at Droo's. You should be too. If you're not, you are hereby degreed a pussy.
CYODFS.|W|P|108399035645742811|W|P||W|P|5/07/2004 03:35:00 PM|W|P|Mike|W|P|test test|W|P|108396931205348850|W|P||W|P|5/06/2004 03:18:00 PM|W|P|Mike|W|P|Mostly to see if the PayPal button at the bottom is working, but partially out f morbid humour, I am posting this story.
Poor, poor cow.
CYODFS.|W|P|108388188454628367|W|P||W|P|5/06/2004 10:47:00 AM|W|P|Mike|W|P|Hehehehehehe....RIAA goofs.
Gee, I wonder why the artists have been missing royalties...not because of downloads, but because the recording companies have held out on nearly $50,000,000.00 is royalties from both stars and obscure artists as well.
Chalk one up for the good guys.
CYODFS|W|P|108386567061471037|W|P||W|P|5/06/2004 06:11:00 AM|W|P|Mike|W|P|Ham sandwich anyone? Only if you're a violent offender in the 'States.
CYODFS.|W|P|108384909944168333|W|P||W|P|5/05/2004 05:18:00 PM|W|P|Mike|W|P|Ok, this is neat. Who hasn't wanted one of these at least once? I know for a fact that I've wanted one 179 times alone!
|W|P|108380271969079407|W|P||W|P|5/05/2004 02:59:00 PM|W|P|Mike|W|P|It's about time. For those of you who haven't been exposed to the Quebec bureaucracy, it's horrible. During the last election, I needed to register to vote. It literally took 4 people to do it:
Over paid PQ Party Member who has a job 'cause the PQ got in on the 'We'll give you jobs' vote 1 asked the questions.
Over paid PQ Party Member who has a job 'cause the PQ got in on the 'We'll give you jobs' vote 2 wrote down the answers.
Over paid PQ Party Member who has a job 'cause the PQ got in on the 'We'll give you jobs' vote 3 verified my ID to make sure I wasn't scamming or double registering or whatever.
Over paid PQ Party Member who has a job 'cause the PQ got in on the 'We'll give you jobs' vote 4 read the newspaper.
That's why I'm really happy to finally see stories like this . At last, someone is putting my (albeit former) tax dollars to better use than funding Only-French-speaking-"I ate da Hengliish"-bureaucrats.
Way to go Jean Charest. Now get some pro-English bilingualism legislation (instead of the current "If you only speak French that's ok, but if you only speak English you're screwed" legislation) passed and everything will be swell.
CYODFS.|W|P|108379435051288812|W|P||W|P|5/05/2004 10:55:00 AM|W|P|Mike|W|P|What can be said about the past five days or so? Let's see.
Rose and I went to The Alberta Boot Company yesterday looking at real cowboy boots for her. At $249.99 a pair, I really hope that they're worth it. But according to some co-wokers, they are, and that price is pretty normal actually. So that was interesting.
Hmm...what else. My meeting with Human Resources went pretty much according to plan:
Mike: Do I have any opportunities?
HR: Not as much as opportunities, but we encourage employees to seek out other positions.
Mike: But I'm a contractor.
HR: Oh. Then wait until you become an employee.
Mike: But I'm not happy and I'm not sure I want to become an employee.
HR: Oh. Then no, not really.
Do I have access to the job posting webpage? No. Can I? No. Arg.
It looks like How I Ended might be moving to a pay-per-month blog service that will allow moblogging...namely, the ability to blog by e-mail or even cellphone. Aaron's looking into that today.
Well, I've wasted enough of my employer's time...wait a second...